“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.” – Tony Robbins
I am writing this because I often get stuck in the weeds with so many people voicing their opinions on what I should do. It’s not that I don’t value and respect those giving feedback, I just can’t make decisions with everyone having a say in my life. Did you hear the critical words here? My Life, yep that was it. It sounds childish at first. You know, envision when you were a teenager and mom or dad said you couldn’t do such and such and you said but it’s my life. I don’t care, you were on to something there.
We don’t want to hurt others or treat them as if we don’t care, but we do want to take a moment and decide if advice or opinions are helpful. I know from experience, taking every piece of advice can be exhausting and take us in circles because everyone has an opinion and usually they’re all different.
The following questions are what I have begun asking myself when I am trying to make a decision and the noise of everyone else’s thoughts are getting in the way.
1. Is the person who is giving the opinion where I want to be in life?
So, what do I mean by this?
Well for example, I am a Certified Professional Coach. Many times, I have people coming out of the woodwork making suggestions of how to run my business. I love feedback, but it gets hairy when the feedback is coming from all directions at one time. So, is the person who is giving me business advice in a place where I would like to see myself in my business?
Another example – I’ve been married for 15 years. Many folks have advice on marriage. Are the folks giving me marital wisdom where I would like to see myself in my marriage?
Now you try it.
What kind of scenarios are you given advice about? Are the people that are giving you advice on a career, business, or a relationship where you want to be? There you go. So simple. Yay!
2. Does the advice resonate with me or feel good to me?
Be careful here because everything new sounds exciting at first. It’s being disciplined enough to say oh that’s exciting and then ask if it feels like you, the true and authentic you.
3. Does the advice align with my values and my journey?
If you are trying something new just to try it but ask yourself if the advice match what you are doing. This is where the circles start once you begin saying yes to everything. I just thought of the movie “Yes Man” with Jim Carrey. You end up in the weeds because you are all over the place and are not focused on you, your values, and your journey.
I have run into this situation often. Yes, I’d like to write a book. Yes, I’d like to do group coaching. Yes, I’d like to coach in the corporate and personal arenas. Yes, I’d like to network
with everyone. Yes, yes, and yes. But this is not an efficient use of my time. Also, I am running a business and must pay attention to using my gifts to serve while making a profit.
4. What are the anticipated outcomes should I take the advice?
This somewhat overlaps with number 3. I am running a business. Yes, I want to help everyone but is helping everyone reasonable and a profitable business approach. Not usually. So, I must stay focused.
Try and think of the outcome should you take the advice. What changes need to me made? Is it using your valuable time wisely? Is there a return on investment, financially and non-financially?
5. How do I become comfortable with making decisions on my own?
THIS IS HUGE. I love collaborating and hearing ideas. However, if I am always collaborating I will never make an individual decision on my own. Take control of your life and do what you want to do. It’s nice to have others’ support but sometimes you just need you.
I hope this was helpful. I’d love to be able to help you make better decisions especially when you are faced with opinions from everywhere you look. This does not mean I will make the decision for you. I will simply get you headed in the right direction by following your heart and doing you.
For more articles check me out at https://www.jendiehl.net/blog.
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