There are times we put up a wall around us because of past experiences. This suit of armor is useful at first, but eventually becomes unhealthy when it evolves into a permanent part of our foundation. You know, when we begin doubting relationships and limiting our trust in others on a full-time basis.
Let me tell you, this wall of skepticism, disbelief, doubt, and protection is tiresome to maintain. It is so much easier to relinquish control, begin trusting, and open your heart. I know, it is possible that you will feel pain again but that is part of life and is by no means indefinite. How exciting is life if you always have your guard up and never actually experience joy, happiness and passion?
People are put in our lives on time and on purpose. If we feel hurt by another, it is an opportunity to learn and grow. This pain is not a reason to put up a wall that no one else can ever enter. Let those like-minded, supportive, and loving people in your life. Can you imagine what a relief...
We all have these inner pesky voices in our head feeding our doubts, choking our confidence, and convincing us their words are true.
Meet Fred. He’s my inner voice, my Gremlin, or whatever else you want to call him.
I love Fred and you know why? He’s here to protect me and he’s been with me for a very long time, decades. Fred is skeptical, persistent, and always wants to be in the limelight.
Fred is my “What if” Gremlin. You know, “What if I fail?”, “What if I’m not good enough?”, and so on and so on.
Now just because Fred is here to protect me doesn’t mean I still need him in the same way I did say when I was 5 years old.
Fred can remain but only if he is serving me in a way I need him now, as an adult. I know I no longer need him to question my worthiness or what will happen should I fail. Because guess what? I AM worthy. We all are. A so-called failure is simply an opportunity for learning and growth.
As expected, many of us go through stages in our life where our thoughts of our goals and dreams vary. These are the stages I went through and spoiler alert…the last and most recent stage is by far the best.
Everything is possible!
As children, we are so creative and curious and it’s beautiful. I loved to dance. I would choreograph routines for the girls in my classes and on the cheerleading squad. As I went through years and years of dancing, I decided I wanted to be a choreographer. I was going to be the next Janet Jackson or Paula Abdul. Ok, I know I’m dating myself here and I’m ok with that.
What did you want to do as a child?
I should be more practical.
Here is where logic starts to set in and creativity goes out the window. Queue the sound of boring. This is where I was informed I would make no money and I should reconsider my dreams of being a choreographer. Guess what dreams and goals I had then. None, unless you count people pleasing when...
I see you.
All the amazingness that is you. Your beautiful soul. Your need to be and do you. Your worthiness and right to live happier. Your ability to thrive in life.
There is nothing and I mean nothing that can get in your way of living to the fullest, experiencing all the wonders life has to offer, and doing what makes you happy. Make the choice right now to make a change and put you first.
I see you.
The doors to a fulfilled life ready for you to open. Your gifts waiting to be unwrapped. Your bright light ready to shine.
Take the step and open the door. You will be amazed at what you see on the other side. Opportunities you didn’t know existed and abundance you didn’t know you deserved.
I see you.
All the pain, guilt, and shame you have buried that is ready to be released. The misguided thoughts of unworthiness and failure. The yearning to love others before yourself.
You have taken enough time learning from these feelings...
I was always the helper, the say yes woman, and the people pleaser.
Are you this person? The one always helping, saying yes without a second thought, and because of your generosity, well-liked by almost everyone?
I’ve been there too. Looking back, yes, I was an amazing giver, but I wasn’t giving under my terms.
Yes, I was always well-liked, but it wasn’t always under the best possible pretenses.
Ok, so let’s dig down deep and see why I was always saying yes:
Notice any patterns here? Yep, my saying yes to help others was about external validation. I absolutely love that I have come to this realization about myself.
I was relying on external validation and approval from others instead of myself. I was overcome with worry of whether people liked me. I was focused on being thought of...
I woke up asking myself a crazy question the other morning. Am I going through a mid-life crisis? I even did the WebMD thing…you know where you look up what the symptoms of something is and find out that you could be dying, except in this case it wasn’t an illness and the source wasn’t WebMD.
You may wonder why this question even popped in my head. Well, I have made a significant change in my life, leaving the corporate world to pursue my passion to use my gifts as a Certified Professional Coach helping others in similar situations. I started wondering if all this transition was really a mid-life crisis.
Sources say that a mid-life crisis:
So, I fit three of the four items listed here. Should I be concerned? No, and I’ll tell you why.
I found that this significant transition...
For some reason, many of us, including myself, need permission from others to take action. I mean any kind of action: to buy that cool new bright and shiny object, to leave a job because you’re continuously unhappy and unmotivated, to leave an abusive relationship, to show yourself some love, or to be your true self, whatever that looks like. We feel like if we get permission, the action is somehow justified.
That’s fine but how about you start giving yourself permission? Think about what truly makes you happy and go for it. Why? Simple, because it makes you happy.
And if you still have trouble, what’s holding you back?
Is it that you feel guilty?
Your happiness is most important to you, not to anyone else, so you are the only one that is going to make it happen. Did you hear me? Yes, others can seem like they’re responsible for your happiness but even if this may seem true, its temporary. No one person is responsible for your happiness except you. Besides,...
According to the Bureau of Labor statistics for 2017, the average amount of hours worked for an individual aged 25-54 was 40.3 hours per week. This means there are 127.7 non-working hours remaining for the week. Take away 56 hours for sleeping 8 hours per night if we’re lucky, 4.3 hours on average for commuting to work, 2.5 for lunch at minimum, and 2.6 hours on average getting ready for work, we’re left with a little over 62 hours per week not working. I have intentionally chosen not to add in vacation time because that would reflect 1-2 weeks on an abnormal week.
What does this equate to exactly?
62 hours not working
56 hours sleeping
50 hours with work related activities
So, lets get rid of the sleeping hours and see how much of our awake time is spent working. Are you ready? An estimated 45% of our time is spent working. Let me repeat this. Nearly half of the time we are awake is spent working!
I’m sorry, not sorry, but we are working too much.
“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.” – Tony Robbins
I am writing this because I often get stuck in the weeds with so many people voicing their opinions on what I should do. It’s not that I don’t value and respect those giving feedback, I just can’t make decisions with everyone having a say in my life. Did you hear the critical words here? My Life, yep that was it. It sounds childish at first. You know, envision when you were a teenager and mom or dad said you couldn’t do such and such and you said but it’s my life. I don’t care, you were on to something there.
We don’t want to hurt others or treat them as if we don’t care, but we do want to take a moment and decide if advice or opinions are helpful. I know from experience, taking every piece of advice can be exhausting and take us in circles because everyone has an opinion and usually they’re all different.
The following questions are...
“You don’t have to be positive all the time. It’s perfectly okay to feel sad, angry, annoyed, frustrated, scared, or anxious. Having feelings doesn’t make you a negative person. It makes you human.”
– Lori Deschene
Today I am angry and that’s okay.
I can’t shake it. This urge to scream at the passersby for driving so slowly. The desire to tell the lady at the store who doesn’t carry what I need, what I really think. The impulse to drop all my emotions on the man at the next store who doesn’t know where the item I’m searching for is located. The whim to yell at Meg for barking at every person she sees go by the window.
I didn’t scream. I didn’t tell anyone what I really thought. I didn’t drop my emotions on anyone. I didn’t yell at Meg.
Today I am angry and that’s okay. It is not okay, however, to take my emotions out on a person I “believed” contributed to my bad day. I say...
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